I had an opportunity recently to attend Wanderlust Squaw Valley on behalf of Fordcares.com Warriors in Pink. I wasn’t sure what to expect — I don’t do a lot of yoga, I’m not a really introspective person, but I was up for talking at a couple of yoga classes about my experience and how they could help others facing cancer.
My second day at the festival I came across some bracelets. Each had a charm with a word stamped on it. I picked up the first one I saw. Badass. I put it back and continued to look. Then I came back. Badass. I’d been hearing that word used to describe me recently. I’d been avoiding it. But there it is again. I realize that while I may not be a TOTAL badass, I can be a badass. I’m courageous, strong, smart, a role model. So I embrace the badass side of myself. I love wearing that bracelet. It reminds me to not let myself get in my own way.
Later I attend a class about meditation. The master speaks about letting go about what others think, and I realize how tightly I hold on to what I perceive others thinking about me or how they see me. I make up stories that others must be thinking — “how can she be an athlete – look at her body!” But, dammit, I am a badass. And I need to allow that to carry me. I also made a talisman to remind me to trust myself. Trust my instincts, my body and my strength. Geez. I just rode 203 miles. I must be able to do something!
So a major learning for me that weekend: trust myself, I am more than I give myself credit for.